The Clumsy Buffoon
Guy Sebastian
So, ya know. Everyone has what they will call "average days". Everyone's "average day" is totally unique. Well, I am here to tell you the average day of mwah! A 25 year-old man who is lazy, clumsy, and stupid...

So I wake up every day. Ahh, a brand new... OWW. I hit my head on the bed frame. Man, I need to get that re-adjusted... My room is on the second floor of my house. I go down the stairs usually tripping down them on my way down. I won't really feel any pain, though. I am so tolerant to pain you can run over me with a minecart and I won't feel a thing! So, anyways... I get a bowl of cereal from my cupboard. WoOps! Dropped a plate. Oh well, I have 63 more of them and a bunch of bruised toes. I get out the milk. I put the milk in first. Woops. I fill the bowl with milk to the top. Oh well! I pour cereal into the bowl and it overflows and makes a mess on the table. Oh well. I will clean that later. I eat hastily. Its 8:45. Almost time to take the train to work. I can't drive. Why you ask? Do you think I can drive with what I am describing as an average day is for me? Didn't think so. Anyways, getting out of the house is tough. I trip down the walkway at least twice I can remember. I board the train. Man, it's full of people. Everything usually goes without accident here. Whoops! Tripped on my way out. I arrive at the place I work at. As janitor for an elementary school, I have to clean up other people's messes. It's a 7 hour shift of me cleaning messes and tripping at least 40 times in the process. In fact, I almost pushed a 3rd grade boy down the basement stairs. Luckily I avoided the accident from occurring, but not by much. No one usually sees me falling. Otherwise I would have been fired by now... Anyways, Going home and more tripping over stairs, sidewalks, and someone's dropped bag of fast food remnants. Dinner fixing is just like breakfast. Only more mess and different food. After dinner, I spend the rest of my day cleaning up all the spills, accidents, damages, anything I caused, but not without falling at least a few more times in the process... By the time this difficult task is done, it's time to sleep, just to repeat the process again and again...

Well, That's an average day for me. Hopefully your day is less destructive and more productive than my day. I would learn to improve my day, But I am too lazy to. It has just become a habitual repeating process that never ends and goes continuously in a cycle.